Celebs "Die" For World Aid's Day

In case you didn't know, today is World Aid's Day. We all know that HIV/AIDS is a terrible disease that has stolen many away much too soon. And the worst part is, contracting this disease is completely preventable. If you have the finances, I would encourage you to support AIDS awareness. If you don't have money, there is no excuse as to why you shouldn't take the time to educate yourself because prevention is currently the best weapon we have against this terrible disease. Let's pray that one day we find a cure.

That being said, I found the recent celeb campaign for Keep A Child Alive to be a tad bit disturbing. In honor of World Aids Day, a number of celebs joined Alicia Keys in an effort to draw awareness to the virus by vowing to "die" digitally. That means no twitter or facebook until 1 million dollars is raised for the Keep A Child Alive foundation.

Personally I think the "digital death" is a great idea. However, to me it is a little eery for people to pose in coffins when they aren't actually dead. I don't know why Hollywood is so hell bent on making death look glamorous. If you go to the Keep A Child Alive website, you will see that a number of the participating celebs were not actually photographed in the coffins. But of course, they aren't the ones getting all the press. For the ones that did pose, I guess to each his own. Would I have done it? Absolutely not. But maybe this campaign will actually help to save some lives. At the end of the day that's the most important thing.

Here are a few pics of some of the celebs who posed.

EDIT: Unfortunately this campaign was not successful. The posing in coffins idea was a complete fail! If you think your fans love you so much that they are going to use their hard earned money to give you back your digital life, then why would you think that they would want to see you lifelessly lying in a coffin?? It is beyond disturbing...

GOP Is The New Black?

I have to be honest, law school has been kicking my butt this semester. I am working on two real life cases and once I finally drag myself out of clinic, all I have time to do is come home, eat, and go to bed. So unfortunately, I have not been following the news as much as I usually do. However recently this story caught my eye.

I read an article posted by Mary Benton describing her reaction when she first saw the "GOP is the New Black" billboard in Texas (you can read it here). She says that she was lucky that the billboard didn't cause her to have a fender bender. To be honest, her post really didn't alarm me, but I was surprised by many of the comments left on her blog. It wasn't until then that I realized that a lot of African Americans were personally offended by this billboard. One of my friends on her facebook page even stated how disgusted she was that this billboard was going up in her home town. Disgusted? Really?

I am really confused as to why everyone is up in arms about this. I admit, I do consider myself to be a moderate conservative but that DOES NOT mean that I vote on solely partisan grounds in elections. Surprisingly, I actually take the time to read about the candidates before I vote. But I guess that's just too much work for some people...

Anyway, back to the topic. It's a campaign season. Both parties are interested in getting their people elected. How many political commercials have you had to sit through prior to this most recent election? So if we know that politicians are willing to put in a lot of extra work to get another vote, why is this so shocking?

Was it shocking that the GOP was actually going after the "black vote"? Or was it offensive to people that there are African American people who consider themselves to be part of the GOP? This is an honest question because I really don't know.

I have often been the victim of eye rolling, disrespect, rude comments, and exclusion whenever I mention my support for a GOP politician. I'm black, I'm from the South, I grew up in a single parent home, how can I support a party that has done nothing for me? Well if you feel the GOP can and has done nothing for you, then you are right to vote for someone else. However I take the time to read and educate myself prior to casting a vote. And I'm sorry, it's going to take a lot more than a politician identifying him or herself as a Democrat for them to get my vote!

Did you guys see this billboard? Have you heard others talking about it? What is the big deal?

For Colored Girls Is NOT Anti Black Men

I know I've already done a post about For Colored Girls but I just had to respond to the constant complaints I have heard saying that this movie was just another attempt by Tyler Perry to make black men look bad. Number one, maybe some people should actually pick up a copy of the play and read it (I mean it really is not that long my copy is like 80 pages). If they did they would know that this story was NOT written by Tyler Perry.

Secondly, if you walked away from the movie thinking that the message was "black men ain't worth nothing" then clearly you were not paying attention. To me the movie was clearly about women in general (not just black women) and the struggles that we all go through with men. But like Phylicia Rashad's character says to Kimberly Elise towards the end, we women have to take personal responsibility for the role we played in our own situation. There are bad men out there, clearly. And unfortunately many of us women go through experiences with men that we don't have to because we choose to ignore what is right there in front of us. The Lady in Green knew her man kept cheating and walking out and she still kept taking him back. The Lady in Red knew her man was on the down low, and continued to love him, as she said, on purpose. The message behind this film is not one of man bashing, but clearly about women "becoming themselves" by recognizing who they are which in turn causes them to not settle for anything less than they deserve.

Further, the cast was all black because that is how the play was written. But it could have just as easily been white men in those situations, or hispanic men, or Asian men (you get my point). I went to the movies to see this with girls that were not black and even they could relate to the film. I think everyone complaining that this movie is a bash on black men is just looking for something to complain about. If you couldn't look past the color of these men and just see them as bad men who happened to be black, then you probably have some other race issues that you really need to deal with.

For all the men that hate this being the story of so many women, then change your behavior! Oh but wait, it's much easier to insult Tyler Perry than it is to look at yourself in the mirror and take personal responsibility for all the women you have personally abused over the years. Maybe instead of making insults you need to ask yourself why you felt you were personally reflected in the bad male characters as opposed to the one really good one...

Start Demanding the Respect You Deserve!

Last night, I was walking home when I passed a couple holding hands. They looked to be in their teens and were engaged in a very loud conversation. I have no idea what they were talking about but when I got closer to them I heard the guy say to the girl "I don't care because you are a freaking whore anyway". And what was the girls response? She simply laughed and said "I'm not a whore" and continued to hold his hand as they walked down the street arguing.

I was so digusted after seeing this. I am in no way passing judgment. I was in a verbally abusive relationship myself for 3 years and my mom was physically abused for a decade so I really do understand that it is not easy for women to walk away from abuse. But what really upset me was that the girl didn't even seem to know that what her boyfriend was saying to her was abuse.

I think back on my own relationship and the number of times I was called a b****, a whore, and every other disgusting name you could possibly imagine. I was cussed out daily, constantly put down, disrespected in public, and made to look like a fool in front of anyone who would listen. And when I did say you can't talk to me like that or you can't treat me this way, deep down what I really felt was this is only happening because I deserve it, if only I could be better this would stop.

And that, sadly, is the thinking of so many young girls today. It's painful for me to watch. When a guy calls a girl stupid, people laugh. When he tells her that her opinions or wants are stupid, she continues to hold his hand and act like nothing is happening. When he cusses her out and hangs up on her, she continues to call him back. When he talks badly about her in front of his friends, they all chime in and put her down too. When he talks badly about her in front of females, they all side with him putting down this poor girl without ever getting her side of the story. No one ever stops to think that something is wrong with this dude putting down the woman he claims to care about in public regardless of what she did.

This has all got to stop. But how? Can we stop abuse? Of course not, but we can fix ourselves first.

No one will give the respect you deserve unless you demand it. How do you demand it? When a guy disrespects you, stop entertaining him. You might think gee that's a little harsh but is it really? Do you really want to share the most intimate parts of yourself with someone who doesn't even care enough about you to address you by your name? Do you really want a man like that to be the father of your kids? Do you want to entrust your physical safety and well being to a man who treats you like dirt? If the answer is no, then simply don't do it! The next time that man hangs up on you, calls you a name, puts you down, embaresses you in public, makes a mockery of your feelings, or disrespects you in any way, move on to the next. Trust me, the longer you stay the worse it will get.

When I got tired of my ex using me as his punching bag, I stopped allowing him to treat me that way (I really should have left but I wasn't strong enough then). Did it make him change his behavior? No, but I changed mine. When he called me stupid I said ok, hung up the phone and went about my business. When he tried to scream at me I'd say you can call me back when you calm down until then I am not available. When I stopped entertaining his foolishness, he moved on. He left the relationship and was engaged to someone else a few months later.

A man does not have to hit you for you to be the victim of abuse. If a relationship is causing you pain, that is probably a sign. Just ask would you want this guy to be in a relationship with your best friend or your sister? If the answer is no, then why do you accept it for yourself? Remember, you deserve so much more and will never get it until you stop accepting anything less.

Melyssa Ford Versus Essence Magazine

I've talked about Essence magazine before on this blog and I have been a faithful reader for a while now. Recently, a conversation that Melyssa Ford, an ex hip-hop video girl, had with a friend of hers about Essence magazine surfaced. She claimed that the content of the conversation was revealed by a friend she trusted (shame on him!) without her knowledge.

Anyway, I thought the comments she made were pretty interesting. Here is a portion of what she said (with some portions removed for content).

"Right now Essence has on the cover, three of the most gorgeous black men ever created on the face of this [redacted] Earth. They have Blair Underwood who has always done it for me, Boris Kodjoe whose definition in the dictionary is fine, and then they got Lance Gross—chocolatey loveliness. And you know what they [redacted] have the nerve to have as the [redacted] title of the cover story? “How To Keep Black Men Happy and Faithful.” And faithful! How dare you?! It makes me [redacted] sick. [It’s like saying] ‘Women take note—how to keep your black men healthy and keep from straying from you ‘cause it’s your fault.’ And black women wrote this to their [redacted] counterparts. As if to say, ‘If he strays, it’s your [redacted] fault. You didn't cook enough. You didn't do enough to keep your [redacted] man happy or faithful. O-M-G."

Melyssa is referring to the October issue of Essence Magazine. About a month ago, I was having a dinner party at a friend's apartment so I took my copy of Essence with me so I would have something to read while the food was cooking. I left my magazine on the table and when one of my girlfriends (who happens to not be black) saw it, she commented "wtf, how to keep black men healthy and faithful, what about how to keep black women happy!". I have to admit, before she commented I didn't even really pay that much attention to the title. But once I did, I could easily see how someone might take offense to it. I don't necessarily think that Essence meant to convey the message it did however a woman can NEVER make a man stay faithful. He has to be faithful because he WANTS to.

Melyssa went on to make some other comments about the types of women Essence usually features on the cover and the recent change of the content of the magazine. You can read the rest of her comments here.

What do you guys think? Does Melyssa have a point?

An Example of Why You Should Think Before You Speak

The media has been buzzing about famed talk radio host Dr. Laura Schlessinger and her use of the N-word during a phone conversation with a black caller. The woman called in to Dr. Laura to express her frustration with her white husband's friends and family and their insensitivity towards her race.

What was Dr. Laura's advice to her? Black people are too hyper-sensitive about racism. I will admit, there are times when things are blown out of proportion. But that is not always the case. I am just curious as to how this woman who has never experienced what it is like to be black can say with complete confidence that this woman is too sensitive about her race. Then as if she hadn't already made her point, she goes on to say black people use the n-word with each other all the time and then said the word 6 different times. When the caller expressed her anger with Dr. Laura's use of the word, she repeated it, told her not to get all NAACP on her and then hung up. Don't get all NAACP?!?! How can a well educated, intelligent woman possibly think a comment like that is ok in any situation?

During the call she repeatedly referenced Obama in the White House and how black people put him there because he is black and that we now complain about racism more than we did before a black man was president. Dr. Laura is ignorant. The fact that Obama is black is not why he was elected president. Just ask Jesse Jackson how successful his presidential run was and last time I checked he is black. Obama is not president because black people voted for him. He is our president because AMERICANS voted for him. That may frustrate her but it is a fact.

Dr. Laura repeatedly said during the call that she didn't understand. That's the only thing she was right about. She doesn't understand. The reality is that she is a white woman. And because she is white she can never fully comprehend or understand what it is like to live in this country as a black woman.

So in the future, Dr. Laura, maybe you should only speak on areas where you possess some personal knowledge or understanding and leave the things that you clearly don't get to someone else.

Racism Has Got to End

Racism is sick. I grew up in the South so I am well aware of just how racist some people can be towards blacks...and yes this still goes on in 2010. I am also in a predominantly white profession. When I sit in my law classes, or walk into the offices of my internship, I am usually the only black face. Matter of fact, I'm usually the only person of color period. Every time my fellow interns get together and magically forget to invite me, or an employer lectures me about the importance of being on time and not turning in crappy work even when I have done nothing wrong, or a fellow intern looks in my face and has the nerve to tell me they like me because I am "not like normal black people", it hurts. I have spent years working hard to prove myself in a society that has considered me a failure from the beginning. Poor black southern girl from a single parent household...what will she ever accomplish? But by the grace of God I have accomplished.

There is nothing more demeaning or humiliating than when you experience racism. The first time someone ever calls you the n-word, it does something to you. But one thing I know, hate breeds hate. And I refuse to be a victim of racism. I will continue to pursue whatever path in life I choose to follow. And most importantly, I will not allow racists to win by making me hate!

Black people seem to have this opinion that blacks can't be racist...we've experienced too much oppression ourselves to ever be in that category. Well that is a huge lie! I have been honest here that I have a tiny obsession with blogs. Well today, I went on mediatakeout.com and one of their stories was that Essence magazine (which I love!) just hired a white woman as one of their main editors and that they would officially be cancelling their subscriptions. Now was there any evidence that Essence passed up on a more qualified black applicant to hire this woman? No. So why the anger? Oh I know, because of the color of her skin...

Essence isn't immune either. The other day I was reading an article on their website written by a black woman as she was contemplating whether or not she should consider dating men of other races. I am not a fan of that conversation (but that is a topic for another day). However, I was completely relating to everything she said until I got to the end of the article and she stated that she told her girlfriends one of the reasons why she didn't date white men is because "they just smell different". Excuse me? White people smell different?! If I ever overheard a group of white men sitting around talking about they couldn't date a black woman because we smell different I wouldn't hesitate to call them racist. And I am not going to hesitate with this woman. She took the time to write an article for a magazine. Proofread countless times. And yet still determined that was on ok statement to make. Something is wrong!

I am sick of racism. I am tired of the nasty comments and the snide looks. Racism hurts and I will never, I mean NEVER, make another human being feel the way I feel when it happens to me. Martin Luther King, Jr. dreamed of a world where people would be judged not by the color of their skin, but the content of their character. That didn't just apply to black people. When you judge a white person simply by their skin color, you are no different than the white racists you continue to fight against. Yes white people are the majority. Yes they are the ones in power. And yes racism towards them probably does not affect them even a fraction as much as it affects those of us in the black community. But wrong is wrong. When I walk into a room I want people to see me and form an opinion based on my actions. And I do the same towards everyone I meet regardless of their ethnicity because I am not a hypocrite.

Nice Girls Marry Last?

As a child I was always told there were two types of girls: the ones guys wanted to marry and the ones they wanted to sleep with and if you fell into the latter category your reputation was ruined and no guy would publicly admit to wanting to be with you.

Things are a lot different than when I was a teenage girl. I remember when Britney Spears first came out, everyone made a big deal about her claim that she was a virgin and many were outright offended when they found out that was no longer the case. Christina Aguilera caused a stir when she made her video for "Dirty" because she was wearing a red corset, hot pants, a bra top and chaps all while dancing provocatively. R&B singer Brandy had a child with her then boyfriend and put on a sham marriage for years (there was even a reality show documenting the lie) all in an attempt to protect her "good girl" image--God forbid the world know she got knocked up. I could go on and on...

These days are different. Morality is no longer praised. The Jonas Brothers are mocked for their decision to remain chaste. Kim Khardasian has managed to make a career off of a sex tape and the world seems to adore her for it. No longer are intimate moments shared between a couple kept between that couple to be treasured and valued. It used to be your body wasn't something you revealed to just anyone. Now teenage girls (and some grown women) are posting pictures in their bra and panties on social networking sites and sleeping with anything that calls them cute.

So why the change? Most guys say they want a "good girl" to raise their kids and set a positive example for their daughters. But then you look at the media and see Kanye West flaunting a stripper as his girlfriend, countless R&B singers entering relationships with video girls, and athletes actually marrying their groupies. You would expect that to be characteristic of men that aren't believers, but now men in the church are doing it too!

So then I'm left to wonder, where do the nice girls fit in?

I know lots of nice girls that are single. Good, honest, hard working women that can't get a man. And I know plenty of not so nice ones that are not. Then I start to think, is a nice girl's lack of "experience" now a negative that makes her unappealing to men still in their 20s and not ready to give up the bachelor lifestyle to commit to a long term relationship? Well maybe. But what does it matter. Would you really want to marry the type of guy that would sleep around with any kind of woman anyway. I'm not going to wait for some guy in his mid 30s who finally wants to settle down, marry the nice girl, and have a family after he's bedded everything that even looked at him in his 20s. I don't want every woman's sloppy seconds.

Do nice girls marry last? I'm not sure. But one thing is certain. You don't have to resort to taking provocative pictures and walking around practically naked in public to get a man. Be yourself and maintain your purity. And even if you marry later than everyone else, at least you'll know that it is to a man that respects himself enough not to violate his body by sleeping with any random woman and that he has enough respect for women not to take advantage of their low self esteem. You'll know that he's with you not just for your body, but also your mind and soul. And most of all you'll know he is moral and a man of God by more than just words.

That to me is worth the wait!