Saturday, July 10, 2010

Nice Girls Marry Last?

As a child I was always told there were two types of girls: the ones guys wanted to marry and the ones they wanted to sleep with and if you fell into the latter category your reputation was ruined and no guy would publicly admit to wanting to be with you.

Things are a lot different than when I was a teenage girl. I remember when Britney Spears first came out, everyone made a big deal about her claim that she was a virgin and many were outright offended when they found out that was no longer the case. Christina Aguilera caused a stir when she made her video for "Dirty" because she was wearing a red corset, hot pants, a bra top and chaps all while dancing provocatively. R&B singer Brandy had a child with her then boyfriend and put on a sham marriage for years (there was even a reality show documenting the lie) all in an attempt to protect her "good girl" image--God forbid the world know she got knocked up. I could go on and on...

These days are different. Morality is no longer praised. The Jonas Brothers are mocked for their decision to remain chaste. Kim Khardasian has managed to make a career off of a sex tape and the world seems to adore her for it. No longer are intimate moments shared between a couple kept between that couple to be treasured and valued. It used to be your body wasn't something you revealed to just anyone. Now teenage girls (and some grown women) are posting pictures in their bra and panties on social networking sites and sleeping with anything that calls them cute.

So why the change? Most guys say they want a "good girl" to raise their kids and set a positive example for their daughters. But then you look at the media and see Kanye West flaunting a stripper as his girlfriend, countless R&B singers entering relationships with video girls, and athletes actually marrying their groupies. You would expect that to be characteristic of men that aren't believers, but now men in the church are doing it too!

So then I'm left to wonder, where do the nice girls fit in?

I know lots of nice girls that are single. Good, honest, hard working women that can't get a man. And I know plenty of not so nice ones that are not. Then I start to think, is a nice girl's lack of "experience" now a negative that makes her unappealing to men still in their 20s and not ready to give up the bachelor lifestyle to commit to a long term relationship? Well maybe. But what does it matter. Would you really want to marry the type of guy that would sleep around with any kind of woman anyway. I'm not going to wait for some guy in his mid 30s who finally wants to settle down, marry the nice girl, and have a family after he's bedded everything that even looked at him in his 20s. I don't want every woman's sloppy seconds.

Do nice girls marry last? I'm not sure. But one thing is certain. You don't have to resort to taking provocative pictures and walking around practically naked in public to get a man. Be yourself and maintain your purity. And even if you marry later than everyone else, at least you'll know that it is to a man that respects himself enough not to violate his body by sleeping with any random woman and that he has enough respect for women not to take advantage of their low self esteem. You'll know that he's with you not just for your body, but also your mind and soul. And most of all you'll know he is moral and a man of God by more than just words.

That to me is worth the wait!

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