Friday, November 12, 2010

Odd Girl Out?

This is slightly different than the type of posts I usually do but I really wanted to write this because this issue has been bugging me for a while now. Have any of you ever experienced being the odd man out? For me, I feel like it happens all the time. I have a very small group of friends 1) because I really don't trust a lot of people and 2) I think that true friendships are rare and most people I "hang out" with I don't really consider my friends. Well anyway, the people I do consider my "friends" leave me out of just about everything. They are always going out with each other and never inviting me. When I talk, they cut me off or change the topic as if what I have to say isn't important. One of them even stood me up on my birthday because the rain was giving her a headache. She then called me that same night and kept me on the phone for over 2 hours so she could talk to me about a guy she likes. So much for being sick. It was so frustrating!

I have been blessed with a twin sister and it's really nice to have someone that you can always depend on. However we now live in two different states so we can't be as much a part of each others lives as we want. So I feel kind of forced to put some effort into finding and maintaining some really good friendships.

A part of me sometimes wonders if my feelings are a bit irrational. Of course things can't be about me all the time, or even most of the time. But shouldn't they be every once in a while? It's just difficult to always be the one that everyone calls when they have a bad day, or when they need notes from class, or when they want to talk about their relationships, etc. But when I have a problem, none of them are ever available. I don't think a single one of them has ever even asked me how I am doing, but that of course would take the spotlight off of them and their problems.

What do you guys think? Am I being a bit irrational? I really do love them, it's just hard to always be the one who has to give but never receives...

1 comment:

  1. hi, i just stumbled across your page when i googled a nail polish i had lol. but i totally agree with you, and i'm actually going through this right now. I also have a sister (not a twin, but might as well be :]). I don't think you're being irrational at all. if you have to sit through their crap, they should be able to do the same for you because that's what friends should do. and the thing that happened on your birthday is just wrong. shame on her. smh.