God Why Am I Still Single?

When I hear Christian women ask this question, a woman (who is usually married) will respond by saying "God will send you a husband when you are ready" or "marriage isn't that good anyway be happy you are single". Neither of those responses offers any encouragement to the single Christian woman who desires to be married and still has not met "the one".

I was watching an episode of TLCs Say Yes to the Dress a few weeks ago and one of the bride's featured was a 27 year old woman looking for a dress for her second wedding. I remember thinking wow, she's 27 and has already met two men she wanted to marry...I haven't even met one. It doesn't help that every time I log onto my facebook account, another one of my classmates is either engaged, married or getting ready to have a baby.

I think as a Christian I often feel that if I pray for something and don't get it, it must be because I am doing something wrong or I'm not holy enough. Well I don't think that is the answer. If God's blessings were dependant on my perfection I would never receive anything!

Yes I am a Christian but I am still a human being. And though the most important thing to me is that I marry a godly man, I also want to marry a man that I am attracted to and that I love. The attitude for a lot of Christians seems to be that the only thing that matters is that a man is a believer. So when Joe walks up to you after church and expresses interest, the fact that you are not attracted to him should not be relevant. After all how many good single Christian men are you going to meet? I firmly disagree with that. Women who aren't believers won't go out with everyone who asks them. Why should I? And it doesn't help when books by authors such as Joshua Harris are presented to young Christian girls as the absolute truth when it is nothing more than one man's experience.

The fact is that sometimes a man can possess a lot of good qualities and still not be the one for you. Sometimes the fear of never meeting someone else with those good qualities causes us to enter into unfulfilling relationships. After spending years in an unhappy relationship I can say that without a doubt, every day that I spent alone is better than any day I spent with a man who was not the one for me.

Whenever I start to get discouraged I reflect on Proverbs 10:22 which says the blessings of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow. When you receive something from the Lord it is only supposed be a positive contribution to your life not bring you pain and misery. James 1:17 says every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord. If something is not good, it is not from Him.

I refuse to settle for someone who is not for me and if that means that I'll be single longer than any of my friends then that's just the way it is going to be.