Friday, August 13, 2010

God Why Am I Still Single?

When I hear Christian women ask this question, a woman (who is usually married) will respond by saying "God will send you a husband when you are ready" or "marriage isn't that good anyway be happy you are single". Neither of those responses offers any encouragement to the single Christian woman who desires to be married and still has not met "the one".

I was watching an episode of TLCs Say Yes to the Dress a few weeks ago and one of the bride's featured was a 27 year old woman looking for a dress for her second wedding. I remember thinking wow, she's 27 and has already met two men she wanted to marry...I haven't even met one. It doesn't help that every time I log onto my facebook account, another one of my classmates is either engaged, married or getting ready to have a baby.

I think as a Christian I often feel that if I pray for something and don't get it, it must be because I am doing something wrong or I'm not holy enough. Well I don't think that is the answer. If God's blessings were dependant on my perfection I would never receive anything!

Yes I am a Christian but I am still a human being. And though the most important thing to me is that I marry a godly man, I also want to marry a man that I am attracted to and that I love. The attitude for a lot of Christians seems to be that the only thing that matters is that a man is a believer. So when Joe walks up to you after church and expresses interest, the fact that you are not attracted to him should not be relevant. After all how many good single Christian men are you going to meet? I firmly disagree with that. Women who aren't believers won't go out with everyone who asks them. Why should I? And it doesn't help when books by authors such as Joshua Harris are presented to young Christian girls as the absolute truth when it is nothing more than one man's experience.

The fact is that sometimes a man can possess a lot of good qualities and still not be the one for you. Sometimes the fear of never meeting someone else with those good qualities causes us to enter into unfulfilling relationships. After spending years in an unhappy relationship I can say that without a doubt, every day that I spent alone is better than any day I spent with a man who was not the one for me.

Whenever I start to get discouraged I reflect on Proverbs 10:22 which says the blessings of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow. When you receive something from the Lord it is only supposed be a positive contribution to your life not bring you pain and misery. James 1:17 says every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord. If something is not good, it is not from Him.

I refuse to settle for someone who is not for me and if that means that I'll be single longer than any of my friends then that's just the way it is going to be.


  1. Sometimes the hardest thing for the single and saved to do is to wait on God but you must always remember that God's delays aren't necessarily God's denials. God has the perfect mate out there for you and can certainly bring them into your life but you must first learn to wait on God's perfect timing.


  2. Very true! Thanks for the encouragement!

  3. Beautiful....So true...
    Lov it<3

    Follow me and I would follow you back.

  4. I will talk to our Father about this and you will receive what your Beautiful and Blessed heart desires!

    If you need anything else, please write BLessings!!!

  5. Mickie,

    Its encouraging to read this during the lowest pit of my life. I broke up with my first ex a long time ago because eventhough I love him, I cant explain the reason why we're not meant for each other.

    Today, he is married and his wife is expecting. And me? I am still single after 6 years since we broke up.

    Its been a rough ride arguing with God what is taking my man so long to get here. I thought am I not being discerning enough, did I not serve him enough, ur following sentence comforts me:

    "I think as a Christian I often feel that if I pray for something and don't get it, it must be because I am doing something wrong or I'm not holy enough. Well I don't think that is the answer. If God's blessings were dependant on my perfection I would never receive anything!"

    Im tired too.
    Im 29 and counting to 7 more months before hitting 30 years old. And so, praying and googling, I came across ur blog.

    Lets continue to take delight in the Lord and wait upon Him, keeps our heart open to know more friends but also guard our heart for the right person at the right time and the right place.

    God Bless You. =)


    1. Thanks so much for your comment Von and I'm glad something I said offered you some encouragement. Never give up on God and His promises for your life! It will come to pass!

  6. Wow! I can relate to EVERY WORD you stated in your blog. I'm 27 and blessed with a career, but I swear there are days that I would talk to God with tears in my eyes and ask him where is my husband? Or, Will I ever get married? Before I read your blog, I was looking at other sites that dealt with the title "Why am I still single" (thank you Google)...and I ran into a site that included this scripture..

    "Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him…" (Psalm 37:5-7a, NIV).

    I believe this scripture should be posted in your office or on the refrigerator to remind you to be patient, faithful, and committed to God and he will give you the desires of your heart.

    I pray everyone have a blessed, successful, peaceful, and joyful life!

    Our desires will COME!!

    1. Thanks for the encouragement Courtney! God bless!

  7. Well there are certainly many of us good men out there that are looking for a good woman to settle down with, and we hate so much being single since it does make us very sad and depressing. Loneliness is the worst thing, especially when all your friends are settled down since they were Very Blessed By God to have met a good woman in their life which many of them now have a family as well. I will certainly admit that being alone now is very hard on me, and when i was married at one time i really had thought that i had finally met the love of my life before she Cheated on me. I really do feel that God is to Blame since i am having so much trouble now meeting a woman that i can be very compatible with, and many of the women nowadays are so Very Nasty to talk too. Very Hard for many of us which i am sure that many women are having a Very Hard time as well trying to meet a good man. I will never ever understand why would God Bless so many others to find Love And Happiness but not us?